I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
