Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
