didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
