Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
