season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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