i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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