You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
