Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
