and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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