Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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