dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
