A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
