her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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