JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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