i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
