Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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