my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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