Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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