can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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