omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize