I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
