Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just had sex bonerless
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
