Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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