And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
