i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
