there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
