Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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