i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
