her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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