She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
