Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
