Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
