I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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