And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is Oprah even human
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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