Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
