god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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