It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
