it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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