wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
