Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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