So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
