Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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