Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
