Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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