Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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