You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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