I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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