Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
