i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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