i think my tv is drunk
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize