I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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