i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
