My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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