imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
