they need to just BURY HIM!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize