Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
false alarm. still invincible.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
