Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
