She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
