Don't you send me to vm
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
