u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
