Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize