bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
