If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
