Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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